It's Just A Gym Membership, A Car, & Lunch
I've grown to hate the idea of "online dating" because over the years I've learned a thing or nine about the industry. Put aside the "fake" people that use and abuse the service for their own interests, just focus on the fake that is the sites themselves. First, these sites are never comprised of "millions of members". They are, but not in any way they are claiming.
The millions of members is split between the hundreds of other dating sites that company owns but you aren't intentionally using. So dating site XYZ is feeding into a master database that supplies profiles for many other sites you are not using. Sites you may not even want to be included in, but you are. So you sign up for site XYZ, but you are unknowingly included in many other singles sites.
Next the sites don't decommission or age-out their profiles. Unless you go back and delete your profile, which no one ever does, your profile with images and info stays in their database. They count that profile as an "active" member, but if no one has used it in years they just exclude that profile from search results so no one is able to find it when searching.
Then some (but not all) these sites will initiate fake communication to it's susceptible members. They send messages on behalf of other members in hopes the recipient will subscribe to a more expensive membership class in order to reply back to the original communication.
The
success story they brag about is nothing one would not expect. But the
appealing part to me was the very low pressure and no expectation
dating service that was offered. They set you up with singles they feel
best match your preferences and vice versa. But instead of the average
evening date with the typical schedule, you both just meet at a
designated location for lunch. IJL provides the location and makes any
reservations required.
So I made an inquiry but used an alias email address just in case (standard practice for me). Someone got back to me the next day to arrange a call. The call was to get to know me and my interests as much as possible so they can start looking through their lists. I spoke with my very friendly IJL representative and answered all the "profile" questions. Called ID placed her number in CA but she claimed she was in Phoenix as was I.
Toward the end of the call she (as expected) told me she thought she could help me and I'd be a great client, etc.. I finally was able to ask the one question I wanted to ask...how much? I was thinking something like $1500 for a decent amount of effort would be reasonable. Sadly, she said an 8-month membership was $2800. I asked what options are available for splitting the payments or reducing the price in general and she said there were none available.
I told her I simply don't like the price and I can't be sure the services received are worth the large sum of money she wants up front...but I didn't tell her all of what I was thinking.
This sales routine reminded me of my first encounter with 24-hour Fitness many years ago. At that time, all I wanted was information on pricing. When I got the info, they were pushing me HARD to sign up. Mainly because their memberships were contracts and all the money was due up front. And I mean A LOT of money...over a thousand dollars for a 12-month membership. I told her I had no intention of getting any membership yet as I was just getting info, but she kept pushing me to sign up then and there. I eventually had to just walk out because she wasn't listening.
I later found out this method was used because most people use a gym for about one month and then stop going. So it's in the best interest of the sales team to get as much money as they can up front because a monthly billing cycle will not yield nearly as much money as all up front. This is what I smelt when the IJL representative was chatting me up.
The next day she called back telling me she had a match...I was not surprised. Nor was I surprised when she described the woman as almost exactly what I had previously described as the perfect woman. I was expecting a match or two to get me on the line, but this was up the alley of "too good to be true". Granted it was completely plausible, I just had trouble believing.
I still had not paid any money, so I told her I would think about it and get back to her. I then googled the obvious, probably what I should have done before I contacted them... "It's Just Lunch scam". Needless to say, there were results.
Enough bad reviews to raise an eye, but the interesting thing to me was the most common complaint among all the reviews. The people kept saying that once they got your money, everything changed. After the money was transferred, they stopped answering calls in a timely fashion or at all. The clients were constantly thrown around between different "coaches" who were responsible for finding them matches. Given her number was CA but she claimed to be in Phoenix, this was starting to seem very believable.
So what? there are success stories, so why believe the bad ones? Well, after I read client reviews, I also noticed reviews on IJL as a place to work. That was the kicker. The most common complaint as employees was the general feeling of lying to their clients. They complained that IJL made big promises they couldn't keep and flat out lied to their clients. Their own employees were calling IJL a scam.
Other client reviews got me thinking. IJL said the 8-month membership would guarantee at least 6 dates in that period. But some of the reviews said those dates didn't even show up but were counted as dates. In other cases, they suspected their date was not an IJL member but just a random stranger they paid to show up.
This got me thinking there is no way to truly know if a date is actually there for the same reason I am. It's quite easy to find actors to pay to go somewhere and act like they are interested and eat a free meal. Doing that is a lot cheaper than having to refund a client's membership for lack of fulfillment. Even so, many complaints along that subject said they almost never refund no matter how many calls you place. Again, once you've paid, you are no longer a high priority.
This reminded me of a car I bought...or more of the car salesman in general. When asking questions he was there and attentive and always available. He was very quick to extend his hand to shake as if shaking his hand was some kind of contractual agreement. But once I signed the dotted line, he was gone. Anything I needed was not his department. So IJL felt like I was buying a car or getting a gym membership.
If they weren't pushing the gym membership method on me, I might have done it. Gradually paying as I go is the only way to ensure I am getting what I paid for. Without that, there is no incentive for IJL to keep working full steam on my behalf. I would have dropped $500/month which would have added up to $3000 over 6 months.
But they don't offer that service. A reasonable company that is not scamming people would work with a similar plan. While it's quite tempting to get a date with my dream girl, I have no way to know she actually exists. I could drop the $3k and then suddenly she's no longer interested.
The former employees also claimed IJL preyed on busy professionals that 1) had the money to blow on matchmaking services and 2) were too busy to constantly follow-up and hound IJL for a refund when they fail to deliver what they promised.
If I was so liquid too drop $3k and not care, then sure I'd try it. But that's not the situation at this time. So I played it safe and declined to continue with IJL services. Here's hoping they don't sell my phone number to a billion telemarketers.
The millions of members is split between the hundreds of other dating sites that company owns but you aren't intentionally using. So dating site XYZ is feeding into a master database that supplies profiles for many other sites you are not using. Sites you may not even want to be included in, but you are. So you sign up for site XYZ, but you are unknowingly included in many other singles sites.
Next the sites don't decommission or age-out their profiles. Unless you go back and delete your profile, which no one ever does, your profile with images and info stays in their database. They count that profile as an "active" member, but if no one has used it in years they just exclude that profile from search results so no one is able to find it when searching.
Then some (but not all) these sites will initiate fake communication to it's susceptible members. They send messages on behalf of other members in hopes the recipient will subscribe to a more expensive membership class in order to reply back to the original communication.
I've seen the ads for "It's Just Lunch" matchmaking service for a
few years now every time I fly to my destination. It's usually the
same ad that doesn't seem to have changed over the years. But in
general, the ad was somewhat appealing.
So I made an inquiry but used an alias email address just in case (standard practice for me). Someone got back to me the next day to arrange a call. The call was to get to know me and my interests as much as possible so they can start looking through their lists. I spoke with my very friendly IJL representative and answered all the "profile" questions. Called ID placed her number in CA but she claimed she was in Phoenix as was I.
Toward the end of the call she (as expected) told me she thought she could help me and I'd be a great client, etc.. I finally was able to ask the one question I wanted to ask...how much? I was thinking something like $1500 for a decent amount of effort would be reasonable. Sadly, she said an 8-month membership was $2800. I asked what options are available for splitting the payments or reducing the price in general and she said there were none available.
I told her I simply don't like the price and I can't be sure the services received are worth the large sum of money she wants up front...but I didn't tell her all of what I was thinking.
This sales routine reminded me of my first encounter with 24-hour Fitness many years ago. At that time, all I wanted was information on pricing. When I got the info, they were pushing me HARD to sign up. Mainly because their memberships were contracts and all the money was due up front. And I mean A LOT of money...over a thousand dollars for a 12-month membership. I told her I had no intention of getting any membership yet as I was just getting info, but she kept pushing me to sign up then and there. I eventually had to just walk out because she wasn't listening.
I later found out this method was used because most people use a gym for about one month and then stop going. So it's in the best interest of the sales team to get as much money as they can up front because a monthly billing cycle will not yield nearly as much money as all up front. This is what I smelt when the IJL representative was chatting me up.
The next day she called back telling me she had a match...I was not surprised. Nor was I surprised when she described the woman as almost exactly what I had previously described as the perfect woman. I was expecting a match or two to get me on the line, but this was up the alley of "too good to be true". Granted it was completely plausible, I just had trouble believing.
I still had not paid any money, so I told her I would think about it and get back to her. I then googled the obvious, probably what I should have done before I contacted them... "It's Just Lunch scam". Needless to say, there were results.
Enough bad reviews to raise an eye, but the interesting thing to me was the most common complaint among all the reviews. The people kept saying that once they got your money, everything changed. After the money was transferred, they stopped answering calls in a timely fashion or at all. The clients were constantly thrown around between different "coaches" who were responsible for finding them matches. Given her number was CA but she claimed to be in Phoenix, this was starting to seem very believable.
So what? there are success stories, so why believe the bad ones? Well, after I read client reviews, I also noticed reviews on IJL as a place to work. That was the kicker. The most common complaint as employees was the general feeling of lying to their clients. They complained that IJL made big promises they couldn't keep and flat out lied to their clients. Their own employees were calling IJL a scam.
Other client reviews got me thinking. IJL said the 8-month membership would guarantee at least 6 dates in that period. But some of the reviews said those dates didn't even show up but were counted as dates. In other cases, they suspected their date was not an IJL member but just a random stranger they paid to show up.
This got me thinking there is no way to truly know if a date is actually there for the same reason I am. It's quite easy to find actors to pay to go somewhere and act like they are interested and eat a free meal. Doing that is a lot cheaper than having to refund a client's membership for lack of fulfillment. Even so, many complaints along that subject said they almost never refund no matter how many calls you place. Again, once you've paid, you are no longer a high priority.
This reminded me of a car I bought...or more of the car salesman in general. When asking questions he was there and attentive and always available. He was very quick to extend his hand to shake as if shaking his hand was some kind of contractual agreement. But once I signed the dotted line, he was gone. Anything I needed was not his department. So IJL felt like I was buying a car or getting a gym membership.
If they weren't pushing the gym membership method on me, I might have done it. Gradually paying as I go is the only way to ensure I am getting what I paid for. Without that, there is no incentive for IJL to keep working full steam on my behalf. I would have dropped $500/month which would have added up to $3000 over 6 months.
But they don't offer that service. A reasonable company that is not scamming people would work with a similar plan. While it's quite tempting to get a date with my dream girl, I have no way to know she actually exists. I could drop the $3k and then suddenly she's no longer interested.
The former employees also claimed IJL preyed on busy professionals that 1) had the money to blow on matchmaking services and 2) were too busy to constantly follow-up and hound IJL for a refund when they fail to deliver what they promised.
If I was so liquid too drop $3k and not care, then sure I'd try it. But that's not the situation at this time. So I played it safe and declined to continue with IJL services. Here's hoping they don't sell my phone number to a billion telemarketers.
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